We Must Forgive Others

By Lea Sylvester

---

 

There is no question that the traditional family unit has been and is now under tremendous attack. This attack is a mulch-pronged one, from all sides.  Many causes are to blame but the one true cause is Satan, himself.

 

There are drugs, alcohol, money and materialism and then there's adultery. The casual way people walk into marriage these days is abhorring. Having been married 30 years to the same person, I have never once thought that would be a problem. How wrong was I?  This writer doesn't write about life events, who wants to hear other people's problems? Yet, this very thing is so timely for today.  If this can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

 

Whenever someone betrays us, no matter what the cause of that betrayal might be, we feel sadness, loss and strive to “understand” why this might have happened.  The Bible has a great deal to say about adultery and many times, when God uses this word, He refers to Israel (and believers all) following or worshiping false idols. But these verses are literal. Forgiveness is also addressed.

Exo_15:9  “The enemy said, I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; my lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them. “

 

As my son says, “Mom there sure are a lot of 'thou shalt nots' to which I always reply, remember these:

Thou shalt have no other god before me, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Honor they father and mother.  This is simple for him and he accepts it.

 

I have found a new test of my Christian faith. Any Christian trying to live by God's word and walk in God's will DOES experience extreme challenges and tests. Satan uses any means possible to hurt us. Though my spouse is upset and says divorce is sure to come, I find myself wanting to forgive him and I DO forgive him.  For a relationship to recover,  it would be very hard but to begin anew would be a blessing. I pray he sees this as I do but because he is not a believer, it might not happen.  How long have I prayed for him! How long have you prayed for someone?  We must never quit. We are in a spiritual battle for each and every soul in these last days.

 

God tells us in Exodus 20:14, “ Thou shalt not commit adultery.”We are also told in numerous places in God's word about this topic.  Proverbs 6:32 says “ But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.”

 

Forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.  The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us: Colossians 3:13 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any; een as Christ forgave you, so also do you.” We are clearly commanded to forgive.

 

God is very explicit in His commandments on this subject,.We forgive by faith out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts. Philippians 1:6 “The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds.”

 

Corrie Ten Boom, a Nazi concentration camp survivor and missionary said, “"Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

 

We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness and resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.

Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process. Jesus tells us, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto hi, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.

 

The coming days will bring more challenges and tests for us. Let us keep our eyes upon heaven, upon our Lord Jesus. No matter what the circumstances, we are to follow God's teachings and His will for our lives. Acts of betrayal against us and other problems are mostly the acts of those who are intentionally trying to hurt us.  Focus on God. We are in contention for the very souls of man.  It is not our fight to fight for God will do that. But, we do our part by following the Word of God.

I forgive all who have ever hurt me, who have tried to hurt me and my Heavenly Father knows this. I have found prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of unforgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God gives me new eyes to see and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray, I start to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that he or she is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another? 

 

How must we deal with the anger and hurt we feel as a result of these problems? This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.

The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven. We never want this to be. “O God, hear my prayer; give ear to the words of my mouth” Psalm 54:2

 

While we can be sure that God does hear our prayers, there are times when He chooses not to heed or answer them. There are hindrances to prayer and several are briefly they are listed here. One hindrance to our prayer is our motives. We must ask in accordance with God’s will as revealed in the Bible. We must ask only for things that are consistent with the character and nature of God. We must ask for things that are for the spiritual benefit of ourselves or for the person on whose behalf we pray. God will not answer our self-centered, self-serving prayers.

 

If we are not spending time immersing ourselves in Scripture and are not obeying what we have learned, we should not expect God to answer our prayers.

 

Our defiance in ignoring the life-giving Words of the Bible may hinder us from having our prayers answered. Solomon goes so far as to suggest that prayers made from such a hardened heart are an abomination to God. “If one turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination”Proverbs 28:9. Without submitting ourselves to Scripture, we may not even know what and how to pray. We pray best and most effectively when we are saturated in the Word of God.

 

The Christian has been forgiven for the greatest of offenses. He has been forgiven for knowingly, purposely and unrepentantly transgressing the Law of God. And yet we are often slow to forgive our fellow man for the smallest of transgressions. Even the biggest of the sins committed against us are as nothing compared to how we sinned against God. God does not honor this attitude. In Mark 11:25 Jesus says, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

 

We forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness—freedom.