Single Mothers: The New “Heroes”

by Jason Lovelace

 

Key Scripture:

 

Matthew 18.6-7 – But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe I me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of offences!

 

Matthew 19.4-5 – Have ye not read, that he that made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh”?

 

I Corinthians 7.9 – But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

Introduction – Single mothers are quickly becoming the Icons of the civilized world.

 

They are the Heroes of the Technologically Advanced nations. Each year, more and more of them are championed by Women’s Rights Groups, more and more are defended by a public which has become more and more morally directionless. Even Christian Institutions are being pressured into accepting single motherhood as the norm. What does the Bible say about single motherhood? What is God’s opinion of the choice of being a single mother? This lesson will deal with the choice of Single Motherhood specifically. This writer realizes that there are instances where single parenthood is unavoidable. Let us look and see what the Bible says about the choice of single parenthood.

 

Point #1 – Sex Apart from Marriage is sin:

 

As sex is the starting point for single motherhood, this is also where this lesson will start, as well. Sex outside of marriage – God’s design – is sin. This is stated clearly in the scripture references today, and has been spoken towards in previous lessons. Sex outside of the design for which God created it – as with anything else – is sin. It is sin against God, and sin against the body, as Paul speaks of in I Corinthians. Despite modern media’s attempts to downplay the consequences and wrongness of sex before and outside of marriage, it is still sin, and statistics – though covered up – prove that marriage relationships are healthier when both partners wait for sex. Same is said for children born to a husband and wife, as opposed to a single mother.

 

Point #2 – Having a Baby as a Single Parent…

 

This next statement will be controversial, but it must be said: Anyone choosing to have and raise a child without being married is also committing a sin, especially when considering the odds against the child growing up to have a healthy life. The Bible states clearly that the best design for a family, for a child, is for that child to be born and grow up in a husband-wife household. Statistics overwhelmingly show that children who grow up in a single-parent family are more likely to become involved in crime, more likely to develop serious social problems, are less likely to develop in commitment, and, particularly with girls, are more likely to end up single parents themselves. In light of the statistics, how can it be correct for a woman to choose to have a baby as a single mother? Matthew 18.6, one of our scripture references makes it clear that children are precious in God’s sight, and that to cause one of them to sin is a heinous crime and a terrible sin! If a woman or a man willingly chooses to have a child as a single parent, regardless of the odds against that child having a life that is healthy and productive, how can it be anything less than a sin? Please understand, this in no way is supportive of abortion, despite what media stories relate, and what the more liberally minded might believe. At the same time, choosing to raise a child when in the face of the odds against that child developing correctly is not right, and as I John 5 states, anything that is not righteous is sin. God’s design for raising a child is still the right way. Any deviation from God’s perfect will and way is sinful, and this includes choosing to become a single parent, especially knowing the odds are against you and the child.

 

Point #3 – Single Mothers are now the New Champions:

 

Look at any media outlet today, and you will soon see that single motherhood is being championed more and more often. Just a generation or two ago, single motherhood was viewed as an unfavorable situation, and though statistics prove that such is still the case for both mother and child, mainstream media continue to portray single mothers as “courageous”, “strong”, and “sacrificial”. As in the case of two US teachers who were fired from their Christian Schools, single mothers are also seen as victims by the media. The two female teachers in question both chose to engage in sex, despite the fact that they were single. Subsequently, both became pregnant, and, when school authorities on both cases found out, both of these teachers were fired: one from a Catholic School n New York, the other from a Protestant School in Alabama. The New York Teacher in question, in an ABC News interview, described herself as a “victim”, relating how the Catholic School that fired her was “persecuting” her, and alleging that she had “suffered”. A further case in North Carolina is being investigated where a tutor to fifth graders has accused her former employer of firing her because of immoral behavior, she being unwed and pregnant. In all three of these cases, these women are being heralded as victims, despite the fact that their contracts and codes of conduct with their schools forbade sexual activity outside of marriage. Television and other major media outlets continually produce stories of single mothers who are portrayed as champions and heroines. Case in point is Former U.S. Army Private Jessica Lynch. Miss Lynch, the former POW in Iraq, whose rescue riveted the world, was declared heroic when it was announced that she was pregnant by her fiancé. The delivery of her baby was also praised as further proof of her recovery from her war trauma As of this writing, Miss Lynch still has yet to marry her fiancé. Other celebrities, such as supermodel Nikki Taylor, singer Madonna, comedienne Rosie O’Donnell, and actress Jodie Foster, have also been trumpeted by the press and TV as heroines, facing their world courageously while raising their children alone. Here in Japan, this past Spring, NHK ran a story and special about a young, single mother who was striving to do her best to hold down a job in a tool and dye, all the while trying to raise her son. The story portrayed the young woman as heroic, dedicated, and courageous. Never once was there mention of the need for her young, one-year-old son’s need for a father. The story ended with members of a panel weeping at this young lady’s plight, applauding her for her strength and courage to carry through, all but dubbing her a champion of sorts for other women out there, and a role model for the younger generations. The story didn’t mention the overwhelming odds against both the woman and her son having a truly good future. A further example of media championing single motherhood is a recent BBC Documentary detailing the lives of 40 women who all made the choice to become single mothers. Despite the facts, media continues to pump up, prop up, and make champions out of single mothers.

 

Point #4 – If You Want Children, Get Married First!!!

 

Though Paul in our Scriptures from I Corinthians is speaking directly towards sex, it can be applied to having children. Are you a man, and want children? Are there any single ladies who want to have a baby? The answer is simple: get married. Find a man (if you are a woman) or a woman (if you are a man) that you think will make a great father or mother, and also a great husband or wife, settle down, and get married. This is not a pat answer, and this writer knows that finding someone to love and marry can be extremely difficult in many cases. But the simple answer to someone or anyone wanting a baby and children is to do it the old fashioned way: get married. If you place your trust and hope in Jesus Christ, he will bring the right person for your life, and there will be no mistake about it.

 

Conclusion – Despite the Media’s Views to the Contrary, Single Motherhood is still not the best way, nor even a good way, and, as the Bible portrays, is sin:

 

It has been written in this lesson once, and it is written here again: Anyone who makes the conscious choice to become a single parent, knowing the odds against the child and themselves, are committing sin. Just as with abortion, homosexuality, and sexual promiscuity aside from marriage, single parenthood as a choice is nothing more than the height of selfishness. It is a sin against God, the single parent him/herself, and against the child, as they are not giving the best they should give to the child. But as with all sin, God is merciful, and he will forgive. If you have made the choice to become a single parent, God will forgive you and he will help you if you come to him. He will help you raise your child, and will provide you a way to serve him and live for him.

 

Prayer

 

Heavenly Father, in these Modern days, help us to have wisdom – your wisdom. LORD, we know that there are many, many single mothers and single parents out there. For those who have made this choice, regardless of the consequences, please help them and us to see that your way is the best way. Maybe, LORD, there are those out there who made this choice, and are in trouble. We pray, LORD, that you will help them to come to you and see that the help that they need is right with you all along. Bless us all this week and this day, we pray, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Verse to Remember:

 

But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

–I Corinthians 7.9